idolatry

it got cold this morning 

after you shut the door;

the breeze was rain

and i cursed under

the quiet you left with

goodbyes,

wishing you had rolled

me a cigarette. 

my impropriety is sung

through drops hitting

curtains, dotting white

to push for

a clarity.

the rain comes, as it always

does, as i am staring at the 

crosswalk, thinking

<<green means go>>

i ripped apart the roof 

of my mouth biting back 

lithographs of summer 

fruits i notice on your

walls -- your walls

my chair

your bed

my pillow.

i am tonguing the sore spots

alternating salt water on 

my cheeks -- lacking the

audacity to laugh. 

berating the breakdown of little 

talks and papers

of her everywhere

and papers of me

on the 

shelf.

you cried after we finished

your mouth quivered in the shower

alternating your hard streams

boyz bring chairs under the 

cover of hard plastic

girls smoke cigarettes

like women and glance

to seem elegant.

i look at you and you

are far away.

humming to kill your quiet, i 

wonder if i am still

shower

you've got fireflies in your
eyes when thinking about
yesterday

younger, you yanked back
broken bolts, bold and trying
to twist thunder into
music just so you could
sing silently, serving only
your single-sided records

knocked twice
knock again

watch the window while
you wait, will the light to
switch

outdoors, there is a meteor
shower and i am bursting
with wishes

knock twice
knock again

watching the wrong window
it points directly west and
i am standing south

the missing
meteors slipping shooters past
blinking notes,
i cry

you are missing it
like i am missing you
and i would wish for you

but i haven't a clue

what you

could

want.

violets in an ace

put me up on top
of the world

i am afraid
to ask
in case it
ruins everything:

could you take
me to church with
you
and let

the quiet quiet you
down

because you are
screaming
silence
& & pushing
me like laughter

on the wrong day
of the week

& & is there
something that i
could do
to be less wrong

blonde or
something
or maybe tan a
bit less
or maybe stop
loving you so much so you can think

morning

sunset fades like wanting

hold our -- breaths

'til morning

& make conversation 'round

my curves and 

our -- secrets. 

fall asleep with lights

on -- the past 

at bay, wheels

turn like they

always have, like 

they did yesterday -- and

keep it dirty. 

never brave enough

to ask -- can you

desire that which 

you already 

have?  shivering cold

like -- their hearts and

winter sunrise.